Star Wars Movies Announced to Combat Great TV Content

War….Star Wars Never Changes

During Star Wars Celebration, Kathleen Kennedy, President of Lucasfilm, revealed a new slate of Star Wars films, in order to balance out the success of TV shows like The Mandalorian and Andor. According to Mrs. Kennedy, the success of the TV series has made her realize that there is still some goodwill left in the Star Wars universe, and she is determined to put a stop to it.

“We’ve had too many good things happening lately,” she said. “The Mandalorian and Andor have been too well-received, and I’m afraid that the fans might start to have hope for the future of Star Wars. We can’t have that. “We didn’t set out to make bad movies, but it just kind of happened,” she explained. “I mean, we thought The Rise of Skywalker would be a huge hit, but it didn’t quite turn out that way. And Solo was just a mess from start to finish.”

Ms. Kennedy went on to say that they had been “throwing everything at the wall to see what sticks” when it came to the films, She also said she had been studying the most hated Star Wars movies, such as The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker, to try and replicate their failings. “We need to be really strategic about this,” she explained. “We can’t just make bad movies willy-nilly. We need to make sure that they’re bad in a way that will really piss off the fans.”

Fans took to social media to express their outrage. “This is a betrayal of the highest (first) order,” wrote one fan. “How can she do something that means so much to so many people?” Another wrote, “This is Luke Skywalker attempting to kill Ben Solo over a bad dream tier”.

As for the future of Star Wars, Ms. Kennedy says that they are committed to making great films, but that it may take some time to get there. “We’re working hard to bring the best possible stories to the screen,” she said. “And who knows? Maybe we’ll get lucky and stumble upon the next great Star Wars film.”